


Slow Burn

by Demenior



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: ACIJ, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety Attacks, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Fic Exchange, Friends to Lovers, I changed the ending to be happier, Its nowhere as long as it appears all chapters are stylistic choices, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sexual Situations, but it's not as scary as it seems, don't be fooled its one of the longest things i've ever written, one chapter is bloody, or at least lots of references to, whatever you wanna call them they are in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2013-07-25
Packaged: 2017-12-21 06:51:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 15,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/897170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demenior/pseuds/Demenior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Isn’t that taking it a little too fast?” Jake asks.<br/>“Our whole lives have been leading up to this,” Marco says, “now is not the time to get cold feet and try to be rational. Just jump right in. What’s the worst that could happen?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Animorphs: Christmas in July project.
> 
> For Amaronith (on tumblr) who prompted: Jake/Marco, from friends to lovers. Jake has panic attacks.
> 
> This ended up getting completely out of hand and thankfully I do not have a heavy work schedule this summer. The prompt was entirely up my alley and I loved writing every second of it!
> 
> For this fic I followed what I felt would be a natural progression of friends-to-lovers for Jake and Marco- and for me this meant Jake/Cassie still being a thing. Have no fear, there's no Cassie hate here or anywhere in the story. It also means this story is a hugely slow burn, and part of why it got so long is because I really, really took my time with the burn part. 
> 
> Overall this fic follows Jake and Marco (with more of us in Marco's head) through their lives before, during and after the war- and the quiet developing of their romance in the background. 
> 
> Before you start, just some heads up for the whole story:
> 
> there is some mild homophobia (90’s appropriate, no slurs though), obviously there are panic attacks. One scene features in the aftermath of a battle and it’s fairly bloody/gory. Nothing you wouldn’t see in the books. There’s also stupid amounts of cute like oh my god you boys are redic
> 
> Thank you for reading this long-winded opening speech, and now go forth and I hope you all enjoy!

Marco has lived in this neighborhood since he was born but neglected to make any friends. He likes his comics, his video games, and his parents. The other kids are too gross to touch any of his things.

Which is why it upsets Marco that he’s being forced to go to the community barbeque. There are a bunch of kids shouting and playing together. Marco’s mother urges him to play with them, but he is pretty sure they are likely to be aliens, and they will get mud on his brand new cape. So he’s decided to cling to her leg and follow her to the tables.

A very tall man is flipping hamburgers on the grill. Marco’s father is chatting with him.

“Marco, Eva!” Dad says, “You remember Steve Berenson? Steve this is my beautiful wife and our pride and joy.”

“Are you a robot?” Marco asks.

Dad laughs, “Also our resident superhero.”

They’re great at this age,” the man says—Marco notes he hasn’t yet denied being a robot and is keeping that information for careful consideration later, “my first boy isn’t really into comic books but our second won’t stop talking about them. There he is now—hey, Jake!”

A kid shorter than Marco walks over. He has the same bland brown hair and pale peach skin as his dad.

“Jake you know Marco, right? Marco’s dad is just telling me that Marco loves comic books,” Jake’s dad said.

“Why are you wearing a cape?” Jake asks.

“I’m a superhero,” Marco snaps, “are you an alien?”

“No,” Jake says, and he glances up at his dad as if he is going to ask for help, “do you… could I be a superhero?”

“You need a cape, _duh_ ,” Marco says.

“Manners,” mom says.

“I’ve got one in my room—and a lightsaber!” Jake says.

Okay that is really cool, “A real one?”

Jake grins, “ _Duh_. But you can use it when I’m done!”

“Then let’s go get it!” Marco shouts.

He grabs Jake’s hand and pulls him away from their parents and off into adventure.


	2. Chapter 2

Jake has just turned eight when Marco mentions to him that Rachel is probably the prettiest girl in their class.

“Gross, she’s my cousin!” Jake sticks his tongue out.

“I’m not saying you wanna kiss her!” Marco laughs, “but I think Rachel is the prettiest girl. Who do _you_ think is the prettiest girl in the class?”

They are sitting on top of the monkey bars, overlooking the playground during a rather quiet lunch. Jake swings his feet and looks over all the faces he knows. Immediately he can see Rachel and her friends. They are playing what has to be ponies or horse riding by the trees planted on the perimeter of the school grounds. Rachel’s friend Cassie has stopped to pick up a butterfly. Jake thinks she is really nice but never knew what to say to her.

“Who?” Marco presses, a mocking grin begins to creep onto his features.

Jake bites his lip, glances around for anything to use as an escape, before his mind locks onto Marco’s long hair and he blurts, “You!”

He slaps his hands over his mouth in embarrassment while Marco laughs so hard he flips over the monkey bars and has to finish laughing hanging upside down.


	3. Chapter 3

Marco is nearing his tenth birthday and has started chatting about girls with Jake—he’s gotten out of Jake that he _totally_ likes Cassie—which often segues into who would win in a fight between Spiderman and Wolverine. Jake has finally caught up to Marco’s height and almost looks like a normal person, which Marco always teases him about.

They spend every weekend together, migrating between their two houses. Lately they are sticking to Jake’s since Marco’s mom has been doing a lot of work lately and gets mad when they are too loud. Jake’s bed is starting to get too small to fit them comfortably, but they are used to sharing their space and sprawling on top of one another.

“So do you wanna _kiss_ Cassie?” Marco asks.

Jake splutters and misses a crucial turn in their video game, which is entirely what Marco intended.

“I don’t know—yes—maybe,” Jake stammers.

Marco laughs and nudges Jake with his shoulder, “You’re, like, _so_ red. Have you ever kissed a girl before?”

Marco knows for a fact that Jake hasn’t kissed anyone, but still laughs at the glare Jake gave him.

“What if I suck at it?” Jake whispers, “what if I’m so bad she laughs at me and never wants to kiss me?”

 

Marco rolls his eyes and hits pause, “You seriously would have to be like the worst kisser ever for that to happen.”

“What do you know about kissing?” Jake snaps.

Marco, as a matter of fact, has not kissed anyone other than his mother, but he does not let this fact hinder his need to impart knowledge, “All you gotta do is put your lips together, it’s not rocket science! Then you just move your mouths, I guess you can use tongue but that’s kinda gross.”

They both grimace at the thought.

Jake groans and runs his fingers through his hair, “What if I accidentally use tongue and gross her out? What if _she_ wants to use tongue? That’s _so_ gross.”

“Or you could just stick to holding hands,” Marco offers, “I don’t see why you’re dying to start kissing already.” 

Jake flops back on the bed, landing with a heavy thud, “Why are girls so hard? This sucks! What if she’s too embarrassed to tell me I’m a bad kisser?”

Marco shrugs, “Well normally when people aren’t good at something they practice, right?”

Jake laughs, “Who would I practice kissing on?”

“Where’s Homer?” Jake’s brother Tom has just managed to convince his parents to let him and Jake have a dog. Tom totally monopolizes the puppy though, and all Homer does is lick your face and steal your shoes. He’s kind of annoying, in a really cute way.

Jake half-heartedly punches Marco, “That’s gross!”

Marco laughs and glances back at the tv screen. Normally he wants to get back to playing games as soon as possible, and skip all the sissy feelings talk, but they’ve been playing the same game for hours now and it gets a little boring to beat Jake every single time.

“Or…” Marco considers his words carefully, “ _we_ could practice?”

Jake sits up to look at Marco as if he’d gone crazy, “We’re both boys, _ew_.”

Marco shrugs, “Exactly! More incentive for both of us to never tell. Besides, are you going to wait to meet a girl who you can practice kissing on? Or do you want to be sure you’re a great kisser when you finally kiss Cassie?”

Jake looks down at his hands while he mulls it over in his head. Marco isn’t entirely sure what he is saying, but the more they are talking the more worried Marco has started getting that he won’t be a good kisser either.

“Okay,” Jake finally says, “but you can’t tell anyone.”

“Scout’s honor,” Marco promises, crossing his heart, “now pucker up!”


	4. Chapter 4

Marco’s mother passes away when they are eleven. 


	5. Chapter 5

The first week Marco doesn’t go to school, Jake gets all of the work he’s missed and goes straight to Marco’s. He ends up staying, wrapped tight around his best friend, for nearly two weeks before his parents say he needs to give Marco space.

Marco misses three months of school, and it takes even longer before he can stop crying himself to sleep, even at their sleepovers.


	6. Chapter 6

Had Marco’s father paid more attention, Marco may have been diagnosed with extreme anxiety in the months following his mother’s death. As it is, Marco has learned all the warning signs of a panic attack and learns quickly to hide from everyone until it passes. It isn’t too hard, he really doesn’t have a lot of friends besides Jake, and Jake is always a little on the slow side when it comes to social cues.

 

It’s Marco’s birthday, and his mother isn’t there.

 

His father has nearly forgotten, not buying a cake and he made a card with a vague celebratory theme in blue pen instead of bothering to go to the store a block away from their home. He even lets Marco order pizza, which should be a treat, but they’ve been eating a lot of pizza lately and Marco doesn’t really feel hungry.

He is sitting in his room, trying to hold back tears as he looks at the photo of his mother on his nightstand. Marco feels the telltale tightening in his chest and the shaking of his hands that signals an oncoming attack. He pushes his desk chair in front of his door in case, for once, his father decides to check on him.

Marco’s not sure how long he’s lost to himself, trying to endure what feels like his body falling apart, when his door opens. For a moment he’s delighted because he thinks it’s his father, finally off the couch, and wanting to help his son stop crying.

It’s not his dad.

It’s Jake.

“Your dad said I could come—oh. Should I go?” Jake stands in the doorway, looking ready to run at the sign of tears. They’re still kids so sometimes they cry in front of each other, but then they make fun of one another afterwards. Marco has been especially hostile in letting people see him cry, and once threw a shoe at Jake because Jake wouldn’t leave him alone.

Marco wants to tell Jake to leave him alone. To go away and they’ll never talk about this again. But what Marco really wants is someone to hold him and tell him everything is going to be alright. And to take the weight off his chest that is making it so hard to breathe.

He shakes his head no. Jake closes the door quietly and drops his backpack on the floor. He’s packed for a sleepover. Marco doesn’t remember them planning a sleepover. They used to have sleepovers all the time and his mom would make them whatever they wanted but his mom is _gone_ —

“Hey it—it’s okay. I’m here, man,” Jake says softly.

Jake sits down beside him, timid and hesitant, and reaches out to wrap an arm around Marco’s shoulders.  Marco wants to pull away, and nearly does, but he also desperately wants a caring touch that he has only dreamed about in recent months.

They end up half-draped over one another; Marco presses his face into Jake’s shoulder as he cries, and Jake rubs circles on Marco’s chest. Marco knows this is what Jake’s mom does whenever Jake or Tom are sick or upset, and it is both soothing and cruel to imagine this as a phantom of his own mothers’ touch.

For all Jake can be dense and slow about things, he seems to do all right in this case. They don’t talk even after Marco has calmed down enough to breathe normally, and his hands fisted in Jake’s shirt have stopped shaking. Marco even falls asleep for a little while, wrapped up in Jake, and they only move when both of them are too hungry to ignore it.

They set up video games in Marco’s room and they don’t talk about it anymore. They’ve only just recently stopped sleeping in the same bed on sleepovers, having gotten too big to fit comfortably.

 “I love you,” Jake whispers as he ignores the mattress on the floor and climbs into bed with Marco that night, “I never wanna see you like that.” He wraps himself around Marco like he can fight away any demons in the darkness. He’s not strong enough; no one is, but the intent and the feeling of someone caring that much about Marco makes his heart skip a beat.

 Marco still wakes up to a terrible nightmare, crying for his mother, but for the first time there is someone there with him who doesn’t make him feel so alone.

 

Marco has his worst attack on the anniversary of his mother’s death. He could have talked to his father, who is just in the other room. He calls Jake instead.


	7. Chapter 7

They’re thirteen when the Andalite Prince Elfangor lands in the construction site and changes everything.


	8. Chapter 8

Marco has been good in terms of his panic attacks, even after they are almost murdered by green _devils_ from outer space. Even after it turns out Tom is one of _them_.

He is handling things. He has watched Jake turn into a dog, Tobias into a hawk. Cassie has turned into a horse. He’s even turned into a gorilla.

It is the trip to the Yeerk Pool that ended his attack-free streak. It made everything so undeniably, frighteningly _real_. He can’t call Jake, not this late, to come over. Tom will be coming home. Jake has his own shit to deal with. He doesn’t need to be Marco’s safety blanket, at least, not right now.

Thankfully Marco still has one of Jake’s shirts from a sleepover from _Before_ the aliens. It has been less than a week and Marco has another _Before_ and _After_ point in his life.

The shirt doesn’t rub his chest, and it isn’t warm and firm to lean into, but it smells like Jake and that is close enough.


	9. Chapter 9

Marco’s mother is alive.

 

He asks Jake to keep it quiet, between them. Marco isn’t the boy with the dead mother anymore, he doesn’t need that pity. He doesn’t need the pity of the Animorphs judging him, wondering how much his choices are affected by the fact that his mother is Visser One when he is completely capable of operating outside of his emotions. It’s how he started surviving panic attacks without Jake, and how he stopped having them altogether.

But his mother is _alive_.

And he is filled with rage that this _thing_ is using her face, her body, to fight against humanity. But he is so relieved that the image of his mother and father reuniting is _possible_.

Jake invites himself over that night. He wants to talk, but Marco won’t let him in the door. Dad is still sprawled on the couch. He hasn’t changed in days.

Jake finally flies through his window on the condition that they aren’t allowed to talk about it.

 

He and Jake are starting to build up a list of things they aren’t supposed to talk about.

 

They curl up on Marco’s bed, careful to be quiet even though Marco’s dad won’t bother checking anyways. It is reminiscent of the times Jake is his comfort during Marco’s attacks, arms wrapped around each other with Jake’s hand resting comfortably on his chest.

He tucks his head into Jake’s shoulder and realizes suddenly just how big Jake has gotten. Jake has been taller than him long enough that they’ve gotten used to it (Jake is taking his sweet time wringing out all the tall jokes he possibly can).

Jake presses his lips to the top of Marco’s head.

Marco isn’t sure why it makes him feel warm inside.


	10. Chapter 10

Jake and Cassie are holding hands. This isn’t new, they’ve held hands before. Hell they’ve even comforted one another with sappy nuzzles when they all thought they are going to die.

Marco can’t look away from their hands.

He realizes there is a silence around and everyone is staring at him. Rachel looks annoyed, Tobias looks angry but he always looks angry. It’s impossible to tell what Ax is thinking, though Marco is convinced he might be able to learn some Andalite facial expressions soon. Cassie and Jake look worried. Someone must have said something that left them open for a joke. Marco has totally missed it.

“Sorry, what?” he asks.

“We are talking about freeing more Hork-Bajir, to help the colony,” Rachel says, “I thought we should get them from the cages in the Yeerk Pool so that we know they wouldn’t be infested.”

“Ah, give me a second,” Marco nods, clears his throat, “are you _insane_?”

They laugh, and it feels so good to laugh again. He tries to focus on the conversation, needs to get into it in order to point out all the ways they are going to get themselves killed, but Marco remains acutely aware of Jake and Cassie holding hands in his peripheral. 


	11. Chapter 11

They keep up a pretense of being normal kids. This means sleepovers. Thankfully for Jake, this means he can escape his house and constant vigilance to relax at Marco’s. It has been some time since a sleepover has been an _actual_ sleepover, and there isn’t any mission to complete or almost die completing. It’s relaxing.

Jake’s mind is always going, always trying to be one step ahead. He’s the leader and has to be ready for anything. He doesn’t really remember what relaxing feels like, but there are periods when he can be a little less stressed.

He and Marco are playing a dumb racing game they’ve has since they are kids, one they know practically every turn and trick for. It’s nice, to fall into this routine. This is safe and familiar. Before Tom has been infested he has played this game with them. He still has the high score, which Jake and Marco both silently agreed to never try and beat.

Everything is so normal in that moment that it starts to feel surreal. They are fighting a war against an alien invasion. Five _teenagers_ and an _alien_. No one has openly talked about it, save Marco when he’s complaining but no one takes him seriously. But they are fighting a war and they are so hopelessly outgunned that it’s almost too terrifying to think about. Just how long do they think they can keep this up?

“Jake? You okay?” Marco’s voice cuts into his thoughts. The game is paused, Jake can see that he’s crashed and his car has exploded. The controller is lying on the floor, and his hands are shaking.

“Jake are you okay?” Marco asks again.

Jake wants to reply, but his words are stuck in his throat and he can’t breathe. It feels like someone is choking him, forcing all the air out of his lungs. He gasps for air and then Marco is on him, pulling Jake into their positions for when Marco is having an attack, except this time Marco is rubbing Jake’s chest and has his leg slung over Jake like he is trying to cover as much of Jake as he possibly can with his own body.

“It’s okay man,” Marco is saying, “ride it out. They pass, I promise. Just let it all out.”

Jake can barely hear him but he readjusts enough to press his face into Marco’s neck, knowing that Marco has done that every time, and lets Marco hold him long after it’s over.

 

Unfortunately, panic attacks start becoming Jake’s thing. He feels awful about them and won’t talk to his parents about getting help. It’s a terrible feeling, not being comfortable in your own skin. Knowing your body can betray you at any moment.

Jake refuses to let any of the other Animorphs know, not even Cassie. He’s convinced that as the leader he needs to present as strong and he can’t show any weakness. They’ve all suffered because of this war, and Jake knows he can handle to suffer a little bit more.

He wants to push Marco away too, and keep him out of it. But Marco is the only thing that makes them bearable. It’s hard to try and be strong on his own when the attacks reduce him to his weakest point. It only takes a quiet call, no matter the hour, and Marco will sneak into his house to help. Regardless of how bad Jake feels about needing to ask for help, it feels really nice to fall asleep with Marco’s arms around him and his breath warm on the back of Jake’s neck.


	12. Chapter 12

Marco and Jake stop playing video games altogether. When they do get together outside of sneaking out to go on missions (which is becoming more and more common these days) they will turn the game on and leave the start-up screen running while they curl up together on the bed, arms wrapped around one another and sometimes pressing a light kiss to one another’s’ temple.


	13. Chapter 13

“Where’s my kiss?” Marco jokes, terrified of the fact that they are all going to die because they can’t beat the Howlers, and even _more_ afraid of the sickness in his stomach at seeing Jake and Cassie kiss. He’d thought Jake is dead, and to have him just walk right back in like nothing is wrong, and then to see him and Cassie so delightedly greet one another. Marco has never gone from elated to nauseous so fast.

“Pucker up,” Jake grins, and he wraps an arm around Cassie’s waist. They are both glowing, grinning and holding onto each other.

Marco resists the urge to latch onto Jake’s other side.

“Tonight,” he says instead, with a lewd wink.

Marco's stomach drops.

Everyone laughs.


	14. Chapter 14

Marco’s a complete mess. His mother should be dead—she _might_ be alive, but he’s the one who set up the plan to kill her.

Jake’s words from the top of the mountain ring in his mind, “Hang on, Marco. Hang on, man.”

Marco plays sick and stays home from school. His dad doesn’t call him on it. Jake sneaks into his room every night for a week. He and Jake didn’t talk. They curl around one another, Jake enveloping Marco as much as he can until Marco feels like he’s suffocating.

“I’m a terrible person,” Marco whispers one night in the darkness.

Jake’s grip on him tightens, “It’s war. And I’ll love you no matter what.”

They can’t let Marco’s dad hear them, and so when Marco cries, he does his best to keep quiet and uses Jake’s shoulder to muffle himself.


	15. Chapter 15

Jake and Cassie are on a date together. Marco knows this because he is covering for Jake—Jake is supposed to be sleeping over at his place afterwards, and Cassie will be going to Rachel’s. They’ve all gone to movies before, Jake and Marco used to go all the time. But this is a _date_. Marco doesn’t feel comfortable in his own skin and keeps pacing his room. He even grabs one of Jake’s shirts from the bag Jake has dropped off earlier, thinking that it might help calm him down.

Marco drops onto his bed in frustration, burying his face in the crumpled shirt in his hands. It’s not helping; it’s making his stomach knot worse. And at the same time the smell of Jake, the thought of holding Jake’s shirt is almost comforting and making Marco feel a little happy.

Thankfully Marco isn’t as dumb as he likes to pretend. He’s has crushes on plenty of girls already, he knows all the signs. It has never been _this_ bad. And it has never been for a boy.

 

He has a crush on Jake.

 

Jake is glowing with excitement when he comes back, grinning ear to ear with the biggest, dopiest smile ever. Marco can’t help but smile when he looks at him. They don’t bother turning on the game console, and instead turn off all the lights in Marco’s room and Jake climbs into Marco’s bed like he always does even though a perfectly nice air mattress has been set out for him on the floor.

Marco knows how to push and press Jake for details and information. They talk late about the date, face to face, with their legs tangled and arms tossed over each other for the fact that there is nowhere else to put them. When they eventually start drifting off Jake rearranges them so Marco is sleeping more _on_ Jake then on the bed, “because I need more room,” he mumbles before nodding off.

Marco leaves his arm over Jake’s stomach, feeling his best friend breathe, and wonders how he is going to get over this without damaging their friendship.

He wonders if he ever wants to get over Jake.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has lots of blood/some gore. I don't believe it's anything we didn't see in the books.

There is blood everywhere.

Marco’s knuckles are sliding in it and this floor is _carpeted_. It gushes up between his leathery fingers, is matting in his thick fur. He’s been hit in the head—a falling beam or an almost-fatal slice or maybe he’s been shot—but he can’t hear. He probably has a concussion, who knew gorillas could get concussions? He wanders into the hall, still in a daze. There are sounds nearby. They sound like they are underwater and about fifty miles away. He stumbles along, using the brush of the wall on his shoulder to guide himself.

The wall just in front of him explodes, a tiger scrambles in the debris, trying to get back to its feet. It is snarling, missing an eye and its hind legs aren’t working. There is a twisted rebar pole jutting out of its midsection.

{Jake, demorph!} Marco doesn’t mean to scream but he is frantic.

{Cassie’s unconscious! I don’t know where the others are—help me!} Jake shouts back.

Marco drops the first Hork-Bajir with one swing. The remaining two are difficult, and Marco is nearly cut in half, but then Rachel and Ax return and are able to kill them. Ax stands guard and tries to get in touch with Tobias while Rachel tries to wake up Cassie.

Jake hasn’t demorphed yet. He is lying on his side, gasping for air. Blood is trickling out of his mouth and from too many other cuts in his orange pelt.

{Jake, c’mon man, you need to demorph,} Marco urges, {you’re gonna die if you don’t. It’s safe now.}

{Can’t,} even Jake’s mental voice sounds hazy and tired, {the… the pole. It’ll be stuck. You gotta pull it out.}

{Oh my god.} Marco is thankful gorillas don’t seem to have gag reflexes.

He wants anyone else to do this, but he is the only one with thumbs and the strength to do it. Jake is going to die if he doesn’t.

{Hold on, man,} Marco whispers as he grasps the metal. His hands are still slick with blood and slide uselessly the first time he tries. Jake lets out a pitiful sound that makes Marco want to cry.

{Okay, shit, sorry, one more try,} he whispers, unsure if he is even broadcasting to Jake or just speaking to himself.

Marco pulls it out and Jake screams in his mind. He flings the rebar down the hall, as far away as he can possibly hope to get it.

{DEMORPH! DEMORPH!} He screams.

Jake is curled in on himself, bones creaking and rearranging. His tail shrinks; pale skin is shows through the fur. His hair is growing back and his familiar facial features are beginning to show. The wounds are closing.

Marco can’t contain himself, as soon as the hole in Jake’s stomach closes; he pulls Jake up into his arms and wraps him in a big, furry gorilla hug. Normally Marco is too small for this sort of thing but gorillas are custom made for hugs.

“Marco, Marco, I’m okay,” Jake is saying, shifting in his arms.

Marco refuses to put him down, {Get comfy. You really freaked me out, okay? I thought I is gonna lose you too.}

Something must have been weird about Marco’s voice because Jake settled and Marco can feel the faint sensation of Jake trying to hug him back.

{Hey, boyfriends, you done yet?} Rachel cuts in, {‘cause some of us would really like to get out of here.}

She and Ax are already mostly morphed into their birds; Cassie is waiting as a human.

“You okay?” Jake asks Cassie as soon as Marco releases him. He stumbles a little, legs either asleep or too tired from nearly dying. Marco reaches out to steady him but his arm has already shrunk into a normal human arm.

“I’m good,” Cassie says, “thanks. You saved my life.”

“Let’s get outta here,” Jake says. He waits for Marco to catch his breath- this many morphs so quickly is exhausting—before he even starts morphing.

They take wing together into the night sky.

{Hey Marco,} Jake says privately, {I just wanted to say, thanks man.}

{Can’t have Cassie being widowed already,} Marco would have shrugged if he’d been able to, {but don’t make that a habit. I won’t survive it.}

{Yeah, love you too,} Jake laughs.

Marco nearly falls out of the sky. This crush is getting way out of hand. 


	17. Chapter 17

Jake’s worst attack comes after they’ve evacuated their families to the valley of the Hork-Bajir. Jake’s hasn’t made it. He seems to be holding together well enough—Marco knows Jake better than anyone and can see the spots where Jake’s mask is falling apart—but Jake doesn’t ask for his support and so he doesn’t give it.

Cassie is the one who alerts Marco, actually. She and Jake had snuck off for whatever it is they are doing—since faking his own death he and Jake haven’t had any good one-on-one interaction so Marco hardly has any idea what is going on in Jake’s personal life anymore—and Marco is doing his best to convince himself that he doesn’t care because Jake wouldn’t be into him _ever_.

He is lying in the sun, trying to sleep, when an osprey lands on his stomach.

“Christ!” Marco shouts.

{Marco I need your help—it’s Jake!} Cassie sounds frantic, and completely unlike Cassie has ever sounded.

“What—” Marco starts, but Cassie cut him off, which is also entirely not something Cassie ever did.

{I don’t know what happened but he said to get you. Please, morph quickly and follow me!}

 

It doesn’t take them too long to find Jake. Marco spots him almost before Cassie starts angling herself down.

Marco is demorphing as he lands, and he hits the ground hard. Cassie, as usual, is faster than him and is back beside Jake, touches his arm and tries to get him to talk. Jake is curled in on himself, Marco can hear him sobbing and gasping for breath, and he is shaking so hard his teeth are clicking together.

“What do I do?” Cassie asks.

Marco hardly hears her before pulling Jake’s arm around his shoulder and whispers, “It’s okay big guy, I’m here.”

Jake has never jumped him so fast, and he is too tall for Marco to really rock him, but he starts rubbing slow circles on Jake’s chest again, trying to remember the soothing sounds Jake used to make for him.

“Just do what you’re doing,” Marco finally tells Cassie, “he has to wait it out.”

 

It takes the better part of an hour, at least, and Marco’s butt is numb and his arm is sore from rubbing Jake’s chest, before Jake pulls away. He looks embarrassed.

“Thanks,” he mumbles.

Marco glances at Cassie before looking back to Jake. Together the two of them wrap themselves around Jake and hold him down; holding him so tightly that he has to feel how much they care. Marco might have held on a little too tightly.

“Don’t even be ashamed of this,” Marco whispers.

 

Later on that evening, after the three of them have returned to camp, Cassie stops by to see Marco.

“Thank you,” she says quietly, looking around to be sure no one can overhear them, “I didn’t know what to do. I panicked. I’m glad you are there.”

“I didn’t do much,” Marco shrugs, “Jake and I have never really has a solution for those attacks, but they’re always a little easier to manage when someone else is there.”

“How long?” Cassie sits down beside him.

“I started having them after my mom died,” Marco admits, “and Jake a little after this whole mess started.”

“It’s good,” she says, and realizes she is narrating her thoughts, “that you two have each other, I mean. It’s really good that you’ve been able to be there for one another. I know you and I don’t really get along much, but I’m really happy Jake has a friend like you.”

Marco’s mouth is dry and he wants to say the same to her—and he really thinks Cassie is actually awesome. She is everything Marco can’t be, because she is Cassie.

“Jake’s lucky to know you,” Marco finally admits, “and so am I.”

Cassie looks flattered, and slightly bewildered. It is unfortunate how beautiful she seems just because she is so _honest_ , “Oh, wow, thanks? Is there something you needed to talk about?”

“You’re genuinely nice and talk about feelings,” Marco grins, “I’m definitely the opposite. So don’t push your lucky.”

Cassie looks at him then, quizzical and calculating in the way that Marco knows she is putting things together in her mind.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he asks.

“Nothing,” Cassie smiles, “you really are a good person, Marco.”

She gets up and walks away without another word. What is _that_ supposed to mean?


	18. Chapter 18

The Auxiliary Animorphs are a mouthful to name, but also a relief on the battlefield. Their parents aren’t impressed with them, recruiting the disabled and unwanted children to fight this war, but Jake figures that Marco is right—everyone deserves the chance to fight for humanity.

James is a natural leader, and a part of Jake hurts to see who he might have become and bits of who he used to be in James. He hopes the war wouldn’t change him too much.

Ronnie—Ron, he is constantly reminding everyone—is a sweet kid. Of all of them, Ronnie reminds Jake a lot of Cassie. He’s kind, slow to anger, compassionate and a good listener. Ronnie has a solid work ethic and is willing to follow orders, so long as he is helping people. Jake likes him.

Except that Ronnie _likes_ Cassie.

Jake isn’t sure what to do about that. He thinks about asking Marco, but he also figures his petty relationship woes aren’t all that important in the face of open war. And it is Cassie. Who wouldn’t like Cassie? Plus he can trust Cassie to always do the right thing. 


	19. Chapter 19

Tom has the morphing cube. The battle is still waging, but the Animorphs are winning for once. Jake isn’t much help, his throat raw and bloody after being thrown around by the Visser’s tentacles. He creeps after Tom into the darkness. This is it—the dream he’s been having for years. Stalking his own brother into the darkness. It is going to be him or Tom, and Jake can’t let him escape with the Escafil device. He is so focused he doesn’t notice Cassie racing up behind him until she screams.

{Jake, stop!}

Tom has the dracon gun pointed. He is going to fire. There’s only one chance! Jake coils his muscles, prepares to lunge. Cassie’s fangs sink into his haunches and he roars, rearing back to hit her away.

A black gorilla, invisible in the darkness, taps Tom on the head. He crumples into Marco’s arms.

{We got him, big guy,} Marco says, {now let’s find a place to tie him up.}


	20. Chapter 20

“I’m so sorry,” Jake whispers again, for what has to be the millionth time.

“Do you feel better after saying it?” Cassie asks.

They are sitting outside the cabin they have Tom tied up in. It has been a full day since taking him from the Yeerks, and there are still two more to go.

Jake hangs his head, “No. I… I attacked you Cassie. I was going to mur—murder my brother,” his voice breaks.

Cassie puts a hand on his, “Then stop saying you’re sorry Jake. I… I didn’t think you are capable of this, but you didn’t think you have a choice. You are just trying to do the right thing.”

“Do you think it is right?” he asks.

She purses her lips, “No. I never think killing is the right answer.”

“Thank god for you and Marco,” Jake says.

Cassie nods quietly, and doesn’t say anything. They are quiet a long time before Jake gets up the nerve to speak,

“Do you think we would get married, ever, after the war?”

Cassie doesn’t seem surprised by the question, but she still takes her time in replying.

“It will really depend on who we are, after everything. Will we still be two people who will be happily married to one another?”

Jake puts his hand over hers, “Cassie I will never love anyone as much as I love you.”

She smiles softly, “Not even Marco?”

Jake pulls back abruptly, “What does Marco have to do with it? Of course he’s my best friend; we’re going to have to suffer him forever. But I don’t _love_ him! That would be…”

“It would be _okay_ ,” Cassie shrugs. They watch a clumsy seagull fly in overhead and Cassie gets to her feet.

“That’s Ronnie,” Cassie says, “he wanted to practice his battle morph. Did you know he picked a wolf as well?”

“I’m sure he did,” Jake mutters.

Cassie leans down to kiss the top of Jake’s head and Jake has a sudden flashback to all of the times he has done that for Marco, or Marco has done that for him, “Don’t worry. He wants to get more in tune with it. I’ll talk to you later.”

 

 

Marco joins Jake on guarding-Tom duty. He drops down beside him and throws his arm over Jake’s shoulders.  Jake instantly leans into him, remembers what Cassie said, and tries to sit up again.

“What’s going on?” Marco asks immediately.

“I think I had a fight with Cassie,” Jake admits.

“About the night we got Tom?”

Jake nods.

Marco shrugs, “It’s not good, man. But you made your choices. I think I might have done the same in your position.”

“Really?” Jake asks.

“The Yeerks can’t have the cube. That’s the fact. It doesn’t matter what we do, we can’t let them get away with it. I’m sure you’re also really worked up over the fact that you hit Cassie?”

“I didn’t hit her,” Jake says quickly, “I… I just _tried_ to.”

“Cause that’s so much better,” Marco rolls his eyes, “let’s face it. You are in a dark place, it is a rough situation. Cassie is going to stop you from getting the morphing cube back. I think it is absolutely reasonable—has it been me I wouldn’t be making a fuss.”

“But she’s my girlfriend… I think. I almost hit my girlfriend, Marco,” Jake says. He gives in and puts all his weight onto Marco, nearly pushes his friend over until Marco is able to counterbalance.

“And we’re in the middle of a war. Some might argue it’s not a good time for romance,” Marco says, leaning back.

“Are you one of those people?” Jake asks.

Marco shrugs, “If you haven’t noticed I’ve been a little low on hotties around here. I mean the Hork-Bajir are great but none of them are really on my level. All I’ve got is you and the other Animorphs.”

“Well Cassie and Rachel are kinda taken,” Jake says, “sorry to burst your bubble.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Marco mumbles.

“I asked Cassie if she thought we might get married after all this, if it would be possible for us,” Jake says. He feels Marco go stiff at his side.

“Well what did she say?”

“She said it would depend on who we are,” Jake rests his head on top of Marco’s, “I think she’s saying it’s not going to happen. That we’ve changed too much—that _I’ve_ changed too much.”

“I think you’re just fine,” Marco says suddenly, and then ducks his head as if he is embarrassed, “sorry, I think we’ve all had to change to survive this war. None of us are going to be the people we used to think we would grow up to be. That will be impossible. But she’d right… people can change in ways you wouldn’t expect. Sometimes someone you thought you would never take a second look at suddenly becomes all you ever wanted.”

Jake pulls away from Marco, “Do you have a crush on someone?”

Tom starts shouting inside the cabin, “Jake! Show your face!”

Instantly Jake’s body goes hard, face steeling into a cold mask.

“You don’t have to go in there,” Marco says, “just one more day and he’s gone for good.”

“One more day of Tom being prisoner in his own head,” Jake replies, “I’ve let my brother be a slave for three years. He’s not going to end it alone.”

Marco waits outside while Jake closes the door behind himself.


	21. Chapter 21

The first thing Tom does with his freedom is break Jake’s nose.

“You knew for _three_ years!”

They fight and they yell. They both cry. Only at one point do Walter and Peter have to step in to pull them apart so that Jake can morph away his injuries. He never strikes back. Tom is furious, and rightfully so.

“Tom, I’m sorry,” Jake says for the hundredth time. He feels like sorry is all he is ever saying to those he loves anymore.

Tom turns and stalked into the woods.

{I’ll keep an eye on him,} Tobias says, taking off into the sky.

Jake wanders through the camp on autopilot. He isn’t entirely sure how he resists the urge to run off into the woods after his brother—he has his _brother_ back—but Cassie and Marco never leave his side and keep him around the fire.

By nightfall Tom returns and heads right for the cabin that has been put together for him and Jake. He slams the door behind him.

“You gonna be okay?” Cassie asks. They are all eating supper around the fire.

“I’ll wait til he goes to sleep,” Jake says, “try again in the morning.”

“I’ve always got room if you want to give him space,” Marco offers.

“There’s hardly room for you in your own bed,” Peter laughs.

Marco shrugs, “Jake and I can manage.”

 

Marco wakes up while it is still dark. He can’t see the dying light of the fire, so it has to be fairly late or really early. Hard to tell which in the middle of nowhere. His dad is snoring, and Marco's feet are cold.

He needs to pee so he quietly gets up, throws on a sweater over his dirty morphing clothes, and heads outside to the woods. On his way back, Marco notices a shape by the fire.

"Gotta be kidding me," he mutters.

Jake looks half asleep, head bowed and arms crossed over his chest, from his perch on his stump that Marco has left him at hours earlier.

"Aren't you going to bed?" Marco asks.

Jake jolts upright.

"Chill, dude, it's just me," Marco says, and he pulls another log closer so that when he sits down his leg is touching Jake's. Jake's morphing suit is still stained with blood from Tom's punches earlier. It probably won’t come out, but they really don’t have time to run into town to get new clothes every time they get dirty.

"Was just gonna wait a little longer," Jake mumbles.

"Sure," Marco says, "just come sleep with me, okay?"

"No, no," Jake shakes his head, "it's okay. You don't have to do that for me."

"I don't have to but I'm not leaving your sorry ass to freeze out here tonight. What if it rains?"

"I'll go inside," Jake shrugs.

Marco resists the urge to roll his eyes in frustration, "Don't lie to me, Jake. You're not going into your cabin tonight. You won't take the sane option and just share a bed with me, so now you've forced me to stay here all night with you."

Marco expects a witty response but Jake's entire body sags and he leans onto Marco's shoulder and sighs pitifully.

"You don't have to," he says, but his tone is so grateful that his voice breaks.

"I do," Marco replies, "now let's get on the ground before my back gets too sore."

 

Marco wakes up damp from an early-morning drizzle, face pressed into the ground, with Jake snoring quietly into the back of his neck, and Jake's arms around him. Marco is also entirely too comfy for this sort of thing, and slightly blinded because it is light out.

A log is tossed on the fire and some sparks spray into the air. Jake's arms tighten around Marco's stomach, which is a good indicator that Jake is awake too now.

"Morning," Cassie says.

Marco realizes the position they are in and wants to dash away. That would have been an admission of guilt, that Cassie caught them doing something boys should not be doing, but he very slowly pulls himself out of Jake's grasp and onto a wet log to finish blinking awake.

Jake looks as embarrassed as Marco feels, "Morning, Cas," he mumbles.

"I hope you slept well," Cassie looks like she is about to laugh, "because I would be sore if I are you."

Jake shakes out the hand that has been under Marco, "Uuhhh, actually I'm good for the most part. Just, y'know, numb arm."

Cassie makes a sound of agreement and catches Marco's eye. Marco feels his heart skip a beat because he thought he'd been careful and controlled enough to make sure no one else knows about his crush on Jake, even though it has only gotten worse over the years. But Cassie's look means she _knows_.

"Sorry about that," Marco mumbles, and he hopes Cassie took it as an apology from him.

"You can still get some sleep," Cassie says, "it's still pretty early. I just saw you two here and figured you wouldn't want to get caught."

The way she says it makes it sound like they are doing something other than sleeping. Marco has never felt so embarrassed in his life.

"I'm going to bed," he says, and high-tails it back to his cold, hard bed. Jake and Cassie talk behind him but he doesn’t stop to hear what they’re saying.

A few minutes later Marco hears the door crack open and Jake slips into the (minimal) extra space at Marco's side. He has his back to Marco and Marco turns to press his back against Jake's. They’ve never shared a bed like this—purposely not touching each other. Marco wonders if Jake feels like they were caught doing something they shouldn’t have been doing.

For two guys sharing a bed, it feels lonely. 


	22. Chapter 22

Marco has just watched the neighborhood he had grown up in be completely annihilated by bug fighters. He is keeping his cool, mostly, though his fingers are still a little shaky. This is war. Places get destroyed. As long as he has his family, then Marco is going to be okay.

This is the time Cassie decides to pull him aside to have a chat in the woods. Jake is busy with Tom and Tobias, trying to find Tom as many morphs as they possibly can before the Yeerks destroy everything. It is going to be a dangerous mission, because they have to sneak back into the zoo or find wild animals, but they need all the help they can get and Tom is adamant on being able to morph.

"What's up?" Marco asks, false bravery hopefully hidden behind practiced nonchalance. He is terrified Cassie is going to call him on being in love with her boyfriend and tell him to back off. She has every right to, but until it becomes an Issue, Marco can pretend he isn't doing anything wrong.

"I'm worried about Jake," Cassie says.

Marco shifts his weight, "Yeah?"

She looks at him like she wants him to not play dumb, "I'm worried about the choices he's making. What it's going to do to him."

Marco nods quietly, "Join the club. But there's not much we can do, Cassie. There's no way we can tell him 'no' or to stop. We're at war and we need to stand behind our leader."

"I know," she sighs, "I know. I hate it, but I understand. But I'm afraid that Jake is going to make choices that are going to hurt him. That are going to change him in ways that can't be healed."

Marco shrugs, "That's war, I guess. None of us are going to come out of this like the kids we are going in."

"I know!" she sounds frustrated, which is surprising to see in Cassie because it is so rare.

"So what did you really want to talk about?" Marco folds his arms across his chest.

"It's going to be you and me there for Jake. There's a gap between him and Tom," Cassie admits. Marco nods. Tom and Jake had been very close before Tom was infested, but there is a lot between them now and only time will really sort it out. Currently they are only fighting together because it is the right thing to do.

"And we need to be there for Jake no matter what," Cassie continues, "but there are some places that he might go that I just can't follow."

To Marco's horror her eyes start watering, but her voice stays strong, "If he makes choices I can't agree with, I don't think he'll want to be around me. I know he wants to be good, to make me happy and to make him proud of himself, but we _are_ in a war and he can't do that all the time. Before this is all over Jake is going to need both of us, but we need to be prepared to be there whenever or however he needs us."

"I'm really not following," Marco says slowly.

Cassie wipes her eyes and takes a breath to calm herself down, "I _know_ , Marco. I've known for a while now."

Marco's stomach drops and his knees suddenly feel really wobbly.

"I see the way you look at him, and how you light up whenever he touches you."

Marco wants to run, "Are you blackmailing me?" he whispers.

Cassie shakes her head, "No, oh god no. Jake is dating _me_ and I trust him to honor that. The same way I trust you to honor that as well. I know you wouldn't try anything, and I appreciate it. But I... I wanted to talk to you, to tell you that... it's okay. Whatever you need to do for Jake- to keep him going in the dark times- its okay."

Marco's mouth feels dry, "What are you saying?"

Cassie shakes her head, "It's insane, I know. But Marco... I think Jake likes you too. And I think he has for a while, but he hasn't figured it out yet. He's starting to, but I don't want him conflicted and feeling awful about himself for that when he needs to be focusing on what really matters. So between you and me, until the war is over, I want you to know that I'm okay with however you need to be there for Jake."

Marco looks for something to sit on but can’t find anything so he sits down right where he is standing. His mouth is dry and his brain is running a mile a minute, and also full of sludge at the same time.

"You are the weirdest person I have ever met," Marco finally says, and then feels terrible, "don't you care about Jake?"

Cassie sits down in front of him, looking exhausted and Marco realizes how hard this must be on her, "I'm sure Jake talks to you about everything we do," she smiles, "and you know that we disagree on a lot of things, and that often times I guess he feels bad because he can't be as good as I know he is. Which isn't true. I love him for exactly who he is, but he's the leader and he has to make choices that I will never be able to make. So we have to do what we need to do in order to survive."

"And you're just willing to open this up to me?" Marco asks.

Cassie shrugs, "I don't even know if Jake will accept that he likes you. If I'm going to be honest, I hope he doesn't. But afterwards, when everything is over, we'll talk and we'll make everything right, however it has to be."

"I'd be terrified," Marco admits, "aren't you scared he'll leave you?"

Cassie nods, "Yes. But I think everything works out the way it needs to. If Jake and I are meant to be together, then we'll be together. If it's not going to happen, I'd rather it stop sooner than later. Who knows, maybe you two are meant to be together. I honestly don't know. I can tell you that I am in love with Jake, but I fell in love with who he used to be, and I don't know who Jake is going to be on the other side of this war."

They sit in silence for some time. Listening to birds chirping overhead, and feeling the dappled sunlight on their skin.

"Cassie," Marco whispers, "you're pretty fucking awesome." 


	23. Chapter 23

They’re setting up for the end. There’s no way to know for sure, but there’s a buzz under Marco’s skin that is like an itch he can’t scratch. Everyone’s restless. The Yeerks have destroyed the entire town, are building a new giant, open Yeerk Pool and have even landed their Pool Ship. It’s a giant, neon beacon asking to be attacked.

The battle for the Pool Ship is going to sway the war one way or another. Whoever wins there is going to win the war. It’s unsaid, but everyone understands this. Jake has been pacing for days. Tom introduces them to Taxxons who are looking to defect, to fight against the Yeerks and hopefully gain the morphing power in order to finally escape their hunger. They have more allies—there is a human military base that they’d been in contact with. They are on day two of their lockdown, waiting to be sure there are no Controllers among them.

Cassie quietly finds Marco and informs him that she’s just seen Jake sneak away from everyone and take off in his falcon morph. He didn’t look good.

Marco finds Jake in the same spot he had his last attack. He is on the verge of another one, and desperately trying to calm himself down.

“Hey man,” Marco says quietly, moving in slowly so he can wrap his arms around his best friend.

“I d-don’t need this right now,” Jake whimpers, his whole body beginning to shake, “there’s s-so much to do and… and I can’t af-afford the time—”

“Shh,” Marco tugs Jake down so they are sitting and Marco can start rubbing Jake’s chest, “it doesn’t matter. The sooner this passes, the sooner you can head back. Just let it go for now.”

Jake is still stiff in his arms, but he nods meekly, “Okay,” he gasped out.

Marco hates listening to the way Jake wheezes and sobs dryly, and knows he is helpless to do anything. Absently he presses a light kiss to Jake’s brow, and feeling a little bolder, presses a kiss to Jake’s cheek.

Jake hiccups loudly, and turns to look Marco in the face. They are so close they are inhaling each others’ exhale, their noses just touching. Marco can’t help himself; he leans in and kisses Jake.

It is interrupted quickly because Jake is in the middle of an anxiety attack, and if anything, it got _worse_ because Jake starts shaking harder and his eyes actually water.

“Oh my god,” Marco says, “I’m so sorry. I’m such an idiot.” He pulled away, trying to give Jake space.

“N-no!” Jake grabs him and pulls him back, “please s-stay. But… _don’t_.”

“I’m sorry I isn’t thinking,” Marco rambles, and if he isn’t giving Jake space then he is going to _smother_ this attack out of his best friend, “I shouldn’t have done that. No matter how much I wanted to this is so not the time and I’m the biggest idiot in the world I am _so_ sorry.”

“You are,” Jake nods, pressing his face into Marco’s neck, “but p-please shu-shut up. Not now.”

“Okay,” Marco says.

 

They wait in total silence, even after Jake stops shaking. Marco doesn’t dare be the first to speak. He is starving, as they have both skipped lunch, but no way is he going to try and bail out on his best friend when he needs him. Especially after Marco has just taken advantage of him. If Jake hit him Marco wouldn’t even fight back.

“How long?” Jake finally asks. He pulls away to sit up, stretching out his back.

“How long what?”

Jake gives him the same ‘don’t play stupid with me’ look that Cassie had given him. Marco wonders which one of them is copying it, “How long have you wanted to kiss me?”

Marco can’t look Jake in the face, “A… a really long time. And I’m sorry. It is _really_ the wrong time and place for it.”

“It is,” Jake agrees. He gets to his feet and stretches out his legs, “but, uh, what do we do now?”

“Whatever you want,” Marco shrugs, then realizes how bad that sounds and shakes his head, “like, whatever you want to do. We never talk about this again; we talk about it when we’re drunk ten years from now, whatever.”

Jake sits down again beside him, “Marco, you know you’re my best friend. And I’d do anything for you.”

“Same,” Marco says.

Jake is quiet for a while, staring at nothing in particular, “I… I think I’ve liked you for a while.”

Marco’s heart skips a beat but he forces himself to stay quiet. Jake can spook easily and clam up if Marco comes on too strong.

“As in, more than a friend,” Jake clarifies, as if Marco didn’t know that, “but I’m with Cassie and I’m _happy_ with Cassie. She’s the only girl I’ve ever loved.”

Marco nods. He’d be an idiot to deny how much Jake and Cassie liked one another.

“But you’re also the only guy I’ve ever liked this much. And you’re my best friend. I don’t… I don’t know what to do,” Jake finishes. He leans back on his hands and looks at Marco for help.

“This sucks,” Marco mutters, “I wish Cassie isn’t so nice—that there is _something_ I could not like about her that I could convince you to break up with her to be with me.”

Jake gives him a different look and Marco holds his hands up in defense.

“I’m being honest, and luckily for you Cassie happens to be like the _nicest_ person ever. Anyone who doesn’t like Cassie is a moron. Granted, I’m the one that usually gets annoyed with her, but she’s come through again and again and mainly it’s because we think very differently. So there really isn’t a right answer here.”

Jake groans and leans forwards so he can put his head in his hands, “You know this means we can’t happen. Ever.”

“As long as you and Cassie are together, no. of course not,” Marco says.

Jake looks up at Marco, and he looks almost sad, “I’m going to marry her, Marco. After the war.”

The confession hangs in the air between them for some time. Neither Marco nor Jake break eye contact.

“If she still wants to marry you afterwards,” Marco finally says, “you don’t know if everything is going to happen like you want it to.”

“I can hope,” Jake snaps.

“Tough,” Marco replies, “because life doesn’t give a shit if you hope really hard. We’re going to attack the Pool Ship, Jake, and if we win a lot of people are going to die. And if we lose, then all of humanity is toast. It’s not going to be pretty and clean either way, and who knows if all of us will even make it out alive?”

“So _what_?” Jake growls, “you think I should just dump Cassie to make _you_ happy?”

“No,” Marco shakes his head, “I think you need to do what is going to make _you_ happy.”

Jake turns away, fuming.

Marco takes a deep breath, “Has Cassie talked to you?”

Jake doesn’t turn around, “About?”

“Us.”

Jake’s shoulders sag, “Yeah. She guessed a while back. She’s good at reading people, you know?”

“Yeah,” Marco nods, even though Jake still isn’t looking at him, “but did she tell you she and I has a talk while you are getting morphs with Tom?”

Jake shakes his head, and finally turns to face Marco again, “No. I didn’t know.”

“I thought she is going to tell me to stay away from you if I knew what is good for me,” Marco jokes, but Jake doesn’t smile so he pressed on, “but… she told me she knew about… well, my crush on you. And that she thought you might have a crush on me. We uh, I guess we worked out a deal. Cassie and I, we both really care about you Jake, and we know that being the leader is rough on you. We just want to try and keep you together as long as we can, and get you through this war safely.”

Jake never likes the idea of others knowing that being the leader is a tough job, but no one can deny how much Jake has been changed from the kid he used to be into the hard, manipulative commander he is now.

“So?” he asks.

“So Cassie… Cassie and I agreed to do whatever it takes to keep you together. To make you happy, until the war is over,” it sounds crazy even as Marco is saying it, “it means, if you and me makes you happy, keeps you grounded, then Cassie is okay with that and neither of us want you to beat yourself up about having to choose between the two of us.”

Jake looks somewhere between confused and angry, “Marco now is not the time to be making stuff up—”

“I’m not!” Marco shouts, “I swear, Cassie came to _me_ with this.”

They are silent again. Jake is mulling through his thoughts while Marco studies his face for some indication of what he is thinking. A desperate part of him hopes that Jake will kiss him.

“I… I need to talk to Cassie about this,” Jake finally says, and he stands up and extends a hand to help Marco up, “this is… it’s too weird for me. I need some time to think.”

“Okay,” Marco says, though it sounds sad to his own ears.

He tries to pull his hand out of Jake’s, but Jake holds onto him tighter.

“But before we go,” Jake says, “can… can I kiss you? Just to… to try?”

Marco knows what flying actually feels like but there is no way to describe the way he feels other than _soaring_. His face might have broken in half he is grinning so hard, “Uh, yeah. Yes, please.”


	24. Chapter 24

Jake and Cassie had a fight.

It’s not noticeable to anyone outside the Animorphs, but when they go to plan further attacks Jake leaves Cassie out of the list of names he wants with him. He doesn’t include Marco either, but that’s because Marco needs to _somehow_ track down Erek King in the middle of Yeerk territory.

Marco can’t help but feel excited and sad about their fight. If he makes it back alive it might mean Jake and Cassie are done and Jake and Marco can be together. Marco argues with himself the entire way to the edge of the city, or what remains, about how he can’t let himself get excited over a fantasy. He doesn’t even know if Jake and Cassie have actually broken up.

Marco is chased a grand total of twice, and nearly fried three times, before he manages to find the remains of Erek’s house and gets into the elevator crawl space. From there, getting home is the easy part. Erek projects a hologram, Marco morphs spider, and Erek runs them back to the Hork-Bajir.

Jake’s grin when they get back makes all the near-death moments completely worthwhile.

 

Erek argues that he can’t help them break onto the Pool Ship because he will be helping them kill. Marco has been worried about this, but trusts that Jake has a plan.

Tom and Ax manhandle Chapman into Erek’s view, and Jake threatens to kill him if Erek does not comply.

Cassie’s look makes it clear that she does not agree with this plan at all, and Marco thinks it’s harsh. But they’re in a war and they _need_ Erek with them.

 

Marco catches up with Jake later that night. They’re away from the fire and the sun has set enough that it’s hard to tell where they end and shadows begin.

“Cassie knew about Chapman?” he asks.

Jake sighs, “Yeah. It… it’s why we’re fighting. She thinks we’ve gone too far.”

“She’s kind of right,” Marco shrugs, and Jake looks surprised, “I’m not saying you’re wrong, but threatening to kill someone in cold blood, it’s very Yeerk. But I think it is the only way to get Erek to agree to help us.”

Jake lets out another long sigh, “This is it,” he whispered, “we really are coming to the end. And all I want is for this war to be over… but what if I make some bad calls?”

“All that matters is that we win,” Marco says, “we can hash over morals and hurt feelings later. But if we lose, then it’s game over for humanity. Don’t stress the small stuff right now, man.”

“What else am I supposed to stress over?”

Marco shoves his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, “Have you talked to Cassie about… you and me? That’s something to think about.”

Jake smiles at that, “Yeah… yeah we did. And, sorry I didn’t believe you about what she said—”

“No offense taken. It’s pretty crazy,” Marco says.

“But we worked it out. She’s right. Right now we’re not in a good place for her and I. It’s not that we don’t care about each other any less,” Jake gives Marco a pointed look, “but it’s going to be tough for us, at the end here.”

Marco licks his lips nervously, “What’s the final verdict?”

“I, uh, I’m allowed to see you. If you’re okay with that. And she’s allowed to see other people, if it makes her happy. I told her Ronnie has liked her since they met but she’s said they’re just friends, but I think she might like him too. Afterwards, after the war, the deal stops and she and I are going to see where we are.”

Marco’s heart beats a mile a minute, “You’re allowed to be with me, but you’re going to feel bad about it because Cassie will just wait for you?”

Jake grimaces, “I… I do really like you Marco, you know that. But yeah, it... it feels wrong.”

“Okay,” Marco takes a deep breath, “I promised never to use my charm for personal gain, but this leaves me no other choice. If I can get Cassie and Ronnie to at least admit liking each other, then will you feel better?”

Jake shrugs, “I guess.”

“Done,” Marco grins, “but you’re going to have to kiss me to seal the deal.”


	25. Chapter 25

They are attacking the Pool Ship in three days. It takes two for Marco to get Ronnie to ask Cassie out. He only has one day of convincing Jake to slip into the woods to make out with him, but the results are totally worth it.

They’re clumsy, nervous with inexperience but also excited as they stumble into the bush. Jake’s torn between needing his head in all of his plans and strategies and Marco wants to kiss Jake with how much he loves him, and make him realize how perfect they could be together.

Their kiss is slow and tame, Marco has Jake backed against a tree, and there aren’t many changes in the way Jake kisses from when they were kids and practicing with one another except for the fact that Marco _wants_ to be kissing Jake now and it makes all the difference.

The thought makes Marco laugh and Jake pulls away with a confused look on his face.

“Remember when we were kids?” Marco asks, ignoring that fact that they _are_ still kids, but Jake understands, “and we were practicing kissing?”

Jake laughs and slouches back against the tree. He throws a hand over his face to try and hide his embarrassment and slides down the trunk until he’s sitting. Marco kneels to match him.

“Oh my god,” Jake is still laughing, and he’s going red and there are tears in his eyes, “how did we not _know_?”

“Well you’ve always been slow on the uptake,” Marco says.

“We had a whole conversation about how frenching was disgusting and then we spent half an hour making out. How was I so stupid?” Marco hasn’t seen Jake laugh this hard in years and he’s thrilled it’s because of him.

“Well I for one am willing to revisit that old argument. I may have changed my position on the matter entirely,” Marco puts on his best diplomatic voice.

The look in Jake’s eyes is the same one Rachel gets right before a battle, and it both terrifies and excites Marco in ways he can’t explain, “I hope you have a compelling argument,” Jake mimics Marco’s posh speaking, “because I may need some convincing.”

Marco can’t help but grin because he’s here and he’s joking about making out with Jake because they are _going_ to be making out and it’s everything he’s ever wanted since this whole crush started.

 

It turns out kissing with tongue is about the same as kissing without—just wetter. At first it’s a little awkward because they can’t decide who puts their tongue where and Jake bites his own tongue so they have to stop because neither of them can hold in their laughter anymore. But after that is gets a lot better. Really it’s all about the fact that Marco’s leaning into Jake with his fingers tangled in Jake’s hair and Jake is holding him possessively by the neck and by the butt—which Marco didn’t realize he was totally okay with—and the fact that its Jake he’s kissing and Jake is who he’s wanted to kiss like this for years.

Marco and Jake lost track of time and get back to camp after the sun sets.


	26. Chapter 26

The Blade Ship is in position, weapons locking onto the bridge of the Pool Ship where they all stand. _Almost_ all of them. Many Auxiliary Animorphs lie dead and in pieces on the ground below. Cassie sobs in her own mind, and they can all hear her echoes.

{Jake tell me Rachel isn’t down there with them!} Tobias shouts.

Marco wants to know where Tom is. Where is Jake’s own brother?

Jake remains silent the entire time.

Tom has told them all about his Yeerk’s hand-picked crew aboard the Blade Ship. How they longed to steal the Ship and escape Visser One. They know everything they possibly can about these monsters, who they’ve made a devil’s deal with.

The Yeerk on the screen is arrogant and he’s outsmarted them when he says, “This time, Animorphs, you will _die_.”

Marco doesn’t see a way out of this, but Jake isn’t making orders so he must have a plan. Marco trusts Jake with his life.

{Jake,} Tobias whispers, pleads because he’s suddenly figured it out, but pleads that it isn’t true anyways.

Jake lifts his heavy head, {Rachel. Tom.} he says, {Go.}


	27. Chapter 27

Earth spins far below them. The war is over. No one openly celebrates.

They’ve just seen many brave men and women die in a bluff to draw Visser One’s attention from the fact that the Animorphs were already on the Pool Ship.

Ronnie shakes in the corner. Cassie helps him calm down. He’d nearly had his head removed when he took a hit from a Hork-Bajir meant for Jake. Ax and Alloran quietly speak to one another in the corner. They are guarding the briefcase that holds Visser One.

No one looks at Jake. He stands alone, even amongst them, lost in his own mind. Tobias looks ready to kill him, even angrier than his hawk eyes normally make him look.

{You sent them to die,} Tobias finally snaps, {you sent your own family to _die_!}

Marco has never seen Jake so angry, “Well they _didn’t_! We needed people on the Blade Ship to stop them or else they would have killed _us_.”

Marco isn’t sure what the right move is here—because _hell_ that was cold. Sending his own brother and cousin on what should have been a suicide mission. Rachel and Tom had been lucky to escape with their lives. Has it just been one of them, they certainly would have died.

And yet, Marco understands it. Jake needed an ace up his sleeve. They were dealing with treacherous Yeerks. They needed to go the extra mile, to have a leg up on the competition. Who else to send but the two who are frothing at the bit to spill Yeerk blood?

It is cold, but it makes sense.

Marco makes his way to Jake’s side, brushes his hand against Jake’s.

Jake jumps but Marco maintains a smile for him, “I’m still here, man. Just hold out a little while longer.”


	28. Chapter 28

{Who _exactly_ are you?} Captain-Prince Asculan asks Jake.

Marco jerks his thumb to point at his best friend, “This is Jake. Jake Berenson. President of Earth.”

It's probably the corniest thing he's ever come up with on the spot, and it doesn't even begin to cover just how important Jake is. Especially to him.

But Jake has to force himself to suppress a smile and that makes it all worth it.


	29. Chapter 29

Marco rides out the end of the war and the oncoming stardom fairly well. Comparatively, at least. Rachel takes to being a superstar like she does everything— _perfect_ and so while she maintains a pristine record and face for the Animorphs, Marco gets to joke around and make a fool of himself and have some fun.

The relationships between the team don’t work out as nicely. Jake drops off of everyone’s radar, too lost in all the choices he’d made and the Animorphs he sent to die and the Yeerks he flushed into space. Cassie and him don’t talk, as far as Marco knows. She can’t believe that Jake sent her best friend and his own brother to die without consulting _anyone_.

Rachel and Tom are close. Tom lives with Rachel’s family while Jake is stays with their parents. They both understand why Jake had ordered them to go on a suicide mission, but it doesn’t make it any easier to just forgive and move on when someone has sent you to die. Marco is sure things will smooth out over time, but the war is still fresh on everyone’s minds and wounds are still too tender.

By the time Visser One’s trial has come around, a year after the war, Marco isn’t sure if Jake and Cassie are going to make it or not. They seem to be on friendlier terms again, and Jake is out in public. Tom has moved back into the house, and Rachel and Jake have gone to dinner a few times already.

The trial is rough on everyone, but it seems to reawaken all of the demons Jake has only just managed to bury. He goes into a tailspin afterwards and Tom eventually calls Cassie and Marco to help kidnap Jake to force him into morph therapy. 


	30. Chapter 30

Jake shows up on Marco’s doorstep one night. It is a clear, warm night, though to match the mood on Jake’s face it should have been stormy and pouring rain.

“What’s up, Mr. President?” Marco teases.

Jake doesn’t respond so Marco steps aside and lets Jake in.

Jake kicks off his shoes and hangs his coat up. He heads into the kitchen without a word. Marco closes the door and follows after him. Jake is in his liquor cabinet and pulls out one of Marco’s lesser-used bottles.

It’s going to be that kind of visit. On rare occasions, Jake can be goaded into _a_ beer. To go straight for the hard stuff means something awful.

Jake sits down at the island while Marco grabs a pair of glasses and scoops some ice for them. Jake pours them several fingers of alcohol and drinks half of his before speaking.

“Cassie and I are done.”

As Jake set his glass down Marco takes a delicate sip of his own.

“A fight?” Marco asks.

Jake nods, then shakes his head, “No, not really. We’re on… I _think_ it’s okay between us. We… we talked. About where we’re both at. What we both want. What’s best for us. And… I’m not—I’m not in a good place right now. I’m not good to be in a relationship. Cassie is ready to move on, I’m not. We are going to end up falling apart fighting, or I'm going to hurt her.”

“That’s really tough on you,” Marco says.

Jake shrugs, “Well, I really am the problem there. I’ve got a lot of stuff to deal with.”

“ _Are_ you going to deal with it?”

Jake makes a move to take another sip, but seems to remember something, and sets his drink down, “Yeah, I am. I’m leaving.”

Marco wants to immediately tell him _no don’t_. Instead he asks, “When? And where?”

“Tonight, I’m hoping,” Jake says, “and… I don’t really know. I is going to travel, go see places and see if I can’t learn a little about myself. I want to go back to the rainforest—”

“Again, man, you are the only one who remembers our apparent time-travel adventures in the rainforest. I’ve never been.”

Jake smiles briefly, “You should go. It’s absolutely gorgeous. And probably better when you’re prepared for what you’re going to find.”

“I’ll go with you,” Marco offers. He definitely has a little liquid courage going, but Jake and Cassie are done. He doesn’t really have to hold back now—Jake knows how he feels. Though Marco’s timing could have been better.

Jake keeps his smile but shakes his head, “I need to do this trip alone. It’d be nice, though, doing something just you and I.”

“So when will you be back?” Marco asks.  He finishes his drink.

Jake shrugs again, “I really don’t know. You know better than anyone what I need to work through—and maybe me being away will be good for the others too. My family doesn’t know how to act around one another anymore. My dad wants to pretend it never happened; my mom wants to talk about it. Tom feels betrayed that none of us apparently noticed that he’d been infested—and they all are scared of me.”

Marco dares to reach out and sets his hand on Jake’s, “They should be proud of you, man. You saved the world—and them. Yeah, they had to go through some shit and that’s okay for them to need to deal with it, but you shouldn’t feel bad about _saving the world_.”

“And sending my brother and my cousin on a suicide mission?” Jake whispers, “shouldn’t I feel bad about that?”

“I thought Rachel and Tom understood what they are getting into?” Marco says, “why would they hold that against you?”

Jake gives him another ‘don’t play stupid’ look, but explains anyways, “Understanding is one thing—if I’d asked you to kill your mother because she is Visser One and posed a threat to all of humanity, and lets say you did it. You would understand _why_ I needed you to do it, but you would still feel angry and hurt that I even asked you in the first place. That, on my orders, you have to go through with all the emotions that follow.”

Marco squeezes Jake’s hand, “If we’re going on you feeling bad because you nearly killed your brother and cousin, indirectly. Then consider that I _tried_ to kill my mother. Several times. We’re still talking Jake. We’re still happy to see one another. Even after all that—when I knew who she is and where she is and I still didn’t rescue her. My mother forgave me all of that. I don’t see why your family can’t do that same.”

Jake turns his hand so that their hands are palm-to-palm and he squeezes Marco’s hand back, “You and your mother are different than most people.”

Marco can’t help himself and grins, “We tend to be cuter than most people.”

Jake laughs and shakes his head, “You are,” he says.

Marco feels a warm jolt run though his body. He and Jake hold eye contact now.

“So… you and—you’re single now. And you show up on my doorstep?” Marco presses, “does that mean that you and I—”

Jake shakes his head, “No—not right now. This is meant to be a goodbye.”

Marco tries to control the dropping sensation he feels in his stomach.

“Marco,” Jake squeezes his hand tightly and looks directly at him, “I know you’ve been waiting for… for a long time. For me. And god, I’m really not worth that.”

“You are,” Marco says quietly.

“But I’m not in a good place for anyone right now—that’s why I need to go. Get myself sorted out so I can be good for someone and for myself. I don’t know how long I’m going to be gone but… I don’t want you to wait for me. If someone good comes along for you—don’t push them away. Don’t you dare wait for me to come back. I want you to make sure you make yourself happy.”

“It’s really not that easy, man,” Marco grabs Jake’s glass and takes a sip, “I’ve been… I’ve been into you for _years_. It’s going to take someone really special to catch my eye.”

“So _let_ them!” Jake urges, “I worry that you’re going to waste your life waiting for me and I’m not going to be good enough.”

“You will be,” Marco replies.

“And what if I come back, and we… you and I _try_ but it just doesn’t work out. What then?”

Marco rolls his eyes, “You know what—we’re living normal lives now. We don’t have to plan ten steps ahead. We can try, and we can fail, and hell—we can just go try again! It’s not life or death anymore Jake. We can just see how it goes.”

Jake relaxes a bit and sits back. He glances at the clock on Marco’s stove, “I should get going.”

“Do you have a flight booked?” Marco asks.

Jake shakes his head.

“Then stay the night,” Marco urges, “please.”

Jake glances between the hall that leads to the door and then back at Marco.

“Please,” Marco says again. He puts his hand on Jake’s knee and squeezes. It’s meant to be comforting, but it’s also meant to be sexual. He hopes Jake gets both messages.

Jake chokes out a laugh, in a way that Marco knows he’s won, “Isn’t this a little fast? I _just_ broke up with Cassie.”

“And so you came to your best friend for support. You’re leaving for a while, and you’re going to deprive me of my best friend. All I want is one more night with you—we can watch movies or I’ve got some new games or we can just sleep like we always did.”

“We always shared a bed,” Jake says with a pointed look.

Marco grins, “Okay, if you took your shirt off, I really wouldn’t argue.”

Jake does laugh at that, and he glanced down at their hands before looking up at Marco’s face again, “What if I took your shirt off?”

Marco nearly chokes on his own tongue and stares in shock at Jake.

Jake touches Marco’s cheek, pulls him close, “One night, I leave in the morning. Let’s make the most of it.”

“Oh my god,” Marco manages to say, and there are hundreds of witty and seductive lines flying around in his head and he can’t say a single one.

Jake glances down at Marco’s lips and back into his eyes, “Hey, can I… can I kiss you?”

Marco’s toes curl, and his fingers are twisting in Jake’s shirt, “You never have to ask.”

 

In the morning Marco insists on calling a cab for Jake.

“If you’re going to leave for an unknown length of time then don’t leave your car parked—that’s going to be a _ridiculous_ fee to pay when you get back!”

They wait in the living room, in a comfortable silence. Marco drapes himself sleepily over Jake. Marco doesn’t want the moment to end, but he does grab the front of Jake’s shirt to pull Jake in for several more kisses. He wants to ask Jake to stay, even though he knows how dumb that would be. Once Jake makes up his mind it’s impossible to stop him.

“Again,” Jake says, when they hear the taxi honk from the street, “I don’t know how long I’m going to be gone. And I want you to stop waiting for me.”

“Blah blah blah,” Marco repeats, and pulls Jake in for one more kiss.

Jake smiles, though slightly frustrated when he pulls back, “but when I come home—for good. If you’re single—lets go to dinner?”

Marco grins, “I’d like that.”


	31. Epilogue

_(Several years later)_

It’s late—or possibly early—and Marco is young. He’s full of liquor and has a personal driver who he tips generously, and he is blessed because he can morph before falling asleep and wake up without a hangover. For now, though, he enjoys the feeling of being drunk and giddy.

His driver—who Marco insists on calling ‘Happy’ all night—drops Marco off at the end of his driveway. Marco enjoys the brief walk alone in the cool morning air. It helps clear his head and he likes the feeling of walking up to his own home.

There’s a familiar set of wide shoulders and a cute face with some new scruff dozing on Marco’s steps.

“There’s a caveman at my door!” Marco exclaims with his best southern belle twang.

Jake sits up suddenly. He looks completely startled. Marco bursts out laughing.

“Uh, hi—are you drunk?” Jake asks.

Marco scoffs, and decides to drop the accent because it’s too hard for his brain to maintain, “ _Duh_ it’s like—what time is it? It’s _obviously_ a time to be drunk. Why aren’t you drunk?”

“I just got in,” Jake says, “wanted to see you.”

Marco can’t help it and throws himself into Jake’s lap, “Oh my god I missed you.”

Jake hugs him back, “Yeah, missed you too.”

 “Dinner!” Marco screams, three conversations ahead in his own mind, “it’s too early for dinner they’re only serving breakfast!”

Jake holds him at an arms length. He looks worried. Marco has missed that look.

“I think you need to sleep first.”

Marco goes limp and lets Jake struggle to hold him up, “Nah. Lemme morph it out of my system,” he grins and nuzzles into Jake’s shoulder, “you’re big but I can go gorilla and carry you around.”

“You’re really drunk,” Jake laughs, “but do you mind if I crash here tonight?”

“Mmm crashing. Things keep crashing around me and then my life changes big time. Mom’s boat crashed, Elfangor crashed—now _you’re_ crashing.” Marco only gets up when Jake helps him back to his feet.

“Also,” Marco continues, “you’re dumb because I leave my key under the mat.”

Marco lets them in and wanders into his kitchen for water. Jake follows quietly, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“Are you gonna sit and watch me? Voya—vow— _watching_. Kinda hot,” Marco giggles. He swings his arms dramatically and nearly throws the glass of water he has in his hand.

“Are you going to morph or are you going to stay drunk?” Jake replies.

He moves into the room and leans against the counter.

Marco slides into his spot against Jake, and he only stumbles once, “Are you gonna make me?”

“You aren’t making any sense,” Jake says.

Marco toys with the bottom of Jake’s shirt, “Are you here to stay? Did you work out whatever you needed to do?”

Jake puts his hand over Marco’s and nods, “Yeah. I haven’t told my parents that I’m back yet but—”

Marco pulls Jake down by the collar of his shirt, “I’m _single_ ,” he hisses, “now kiss me.”

It’s messy and terrible because Marco can’t quite remember how to move both his lips and _not_ his tongue and Jake’s stupid beard rubs him the wrong way but it’s also the _best_ kiss Marco’s had in a long time. Jake lifts Marco up onto the counter so he can stand in between Marco’s legs and kiss him better.

Marco’s glass of water crashes off the counter—though thankfully it doesn’t break.

“Sorry,” Jake says, going red.

Marco laughs, “Don’t think—morning time for cleaning. Why did you grow a beard?” he sticks a hand out and touches Jake’s face, “it’s weird.”

“You’re just jealous,” Jake says, and leans in to suck on Marco’s neck. Marco yelps loudly. Jake’s chuckle is low and growly and does things to Marco’s insides.

“No not jealous it’s _prickly_! It scratches and tickles!” he reaches out and touches it again. It also helps him push Jake’s face away from Marco’s sensitive neck.

Jake smirks under his touch, “I think you like it.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Shut up,” Marco throws his arms around Jake and kisses him again.

Jake lifts Marco up onto his body, “You ready to head to bed?” he asks.

“What’s the rush?” Marco grins. He feels like his chest might burst with the happiness that bubbles up inside of him, “we are going to have to work our way through every room in this house.”

“I wanna sleep in a real bed,” Jake explains, “plus I’m going to shower while you morph this out of your system.”

Marco is still stroking Jake’s scruffy beard, “But don’t you want me all loose and pliant?”

“Another day,” Jake kisses him briefly, “but if you hurry you can join me.”

Marco is already morphing by the time Jake sets him down to head upstairs.

 

They stay in bed all morning, venturing out to get a few snacks from the kitchen, but always find their way back upstairs. They talk a lot, touch more, and kiss most of the time. Marco catches Jake up on what he knows about everyone. Cassie is dating Ronnie, Rachel and Tobias are engaged. Tom is seeing a girl who had been a Controller as well. Jake shares a lot of his stories. He’d flown all over the world, acquired a lot of new morphs. He’d even gone and found several tiger sanctuaries and volunteered to help break a few poaching rings. Mostly he’d travelled alone, but he has met several people who’d have no idea who he is. And lots more who recognized him but treated him like a human being than a hero.

At one point Jake suggests they should order pizza. Marco informs him that means one of them will have to eventually put on pants—and Marco hates to deprive himself of a great view. Jake laughs and they wrestle a bit until Jake lets Marco pin him and they start kissing again.

 

“What are we gonna tell our parents?” Marco asks later into the afternoon. They’re sweaty and should probably shower _again_ but he’s enjoying the feeling of Jake drawing patterns on his stomach.

“Whatever we want, I guess. I can get a condo nearby—”

Marco cuts him off with a kiss, “You’re moving in.”

“Isn’t that taking it a little too fast?” Jake asks.

“Our whole lives have been leading up to this,” Marco says, “now is not the time to get cold feet and try to be rational. Just jump right in. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Alright,” Jake says, and he is grinning, “so we tell them I’m moving in with you. They’ll totally accept that.”

“It’s the fact that I like kissing you that I want them to be cool with,” Marco replies.

“Well I’ve been gone for a while,” Jake shrugs, “I’m moving in with you. Can we let them adjust to that first? We can come up with some way to tell them later on.”

“How about we hire a plane to write it in the sky?” Marco offers.

Jake wrinkles his nose, “You’re terrible. That’s an awful idea.”

“We could send a sing-o-gram.”

“A what?”

“People. They’ll sing ‘your son is sleeping with his cute best friend’ at the door.”

“That’s almost _worse_ ,” Jake groans.

Marco laughs, “Hey, I’m calling you cute too.”

“Ah,” Marco shrugs, “we’re superheroes. We can do whatever we want.”

Jake pulls him in by the hip and pauses a second before their lips touch, “Hey,” he whispers, “I want you to know that I love you.”

A sarcastic remark bubbles up in Marco’s mind because this is almost too sappy for him but instead he whispers, “Yeah, I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they live happily ever after- having sex, ordering pizza and playing video games. Sometimes they try to combine these things but they usually get too distracted trying to out-shoot one another in call of duty that they forget they were trying to have sex in the first place. 
> 
> Also they always wander their house in their underwear and never warn each other when company is coming over because they think that sort of thing is hilarious.
> 
> Marco actually has a list of every room in the house they need to have sex in and they manage to cross off all the places in six months. Rachel accidentally found the list two months in and left passive-aggressive, mood-killing notes in every room they hadn't hit yet. 
> 
> It's your choice how many people totally knew they were together/into each other before they finally come out and admit it.
> 
> (Cassie is the best (wo)man to Jake at their wedding)


End file.
